I put off the surgery for two years out of fear
<p>The doctor told me I needed surgery and I said I'd think about it.That was two years ago.I became very good at finding reasons not to do it.Christmas was coming. Then I had work. Then there was a holiday booked. Then I told myself it wasn't actually that bad because I could still walk.I stopped doing things without really admitting I was stopping them.I took the lift instead of the stairs. I stopped going running. If friends suggested something that involved too much walking, I'd usually find a reason not to go.Every few months I'd think, I should probably sort this out.Then I'd think about the operation and decide I could wait a little longer.I wasn't frightened of the pain afterwards.I was frightened of being awake before it.That was the part I couldn't get past.</p>
I had spent two years being afraid of one day. I didn't realise how much of the other 729 days I was giving to that fear.